Our family has really been through it lately. I don't know about the others, but I got so used to worrying about Mom and Dad for so long and anticipating that dreaded phone call for 20 years that I got into a bit of a depression, I think. Now that Dad has gone on to bigger and better things, I'm beginning to appreciate how gray I let my world become. Drab, institutional, utilitarian, frumpy--definitely nothing inspiring.
Oh it's not just because of Dad. Dad was the least drab person I know. He loved it when we dressed up, wore makeup, and looked "put together." One summer evening we all drove to the MUNY in stretch limos, then stopped at Ted Drewe's for ice cream. He bought me the "right" clothes for my first civilian high school experience. He made Christmas shopping an adventure and set a good example for us by always wanting to spoil my mom. He knew how to enjoy the nice things in life. I just wasn't feeling it anymore for lots of reasons.
But I am now, and why not? Spring will be here soon, which always makes me happy. Today we drove through Provo Canyon and spent the afternoon in Park City, Utah at the Sundance Film Festival, where I saw blue sky and sunshine for the first time in weeks. In February I'll have crocus blooming in my front yard and buds on my forsythia. And if I can figure out how to keep Huckleberry Hound out of the garden, I can plant peas in March.
I still worry about my mom, in some ways even more than before. But Mom is all about being productive and efficient, so I know she understands how I feel. No more black crepe and gray. I'm pulling up my socks and getting on with it.
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