Sunday, September 19, 2010

This is a sympathy card in German. A rough translation: "Sincere Sympathy" in the northeast quadrant of the card, and "When the sun of the life sets, the stars illuminate the memory" in the southwest quadrant. This is a very typical, that is, commonplace, mundane, banal, quotidian expression, and cards like this are probably not even read by many recipients, who have already guessed (correctly!) the sentiment. Most of these traditional sympathy cards look very similar to one another, a situation which further limits the attention the bereaved undoubtedly deserves. My suggestion, and it is put forward with only the greatest temerity, is to create another category of bereavement documents: Sympathy-Humor. After all, the category: Birthday-Humor exists, and laughter is supposed to reduced feelings of loss and hopelessness, so this new type of card makes sense. There could be a series with the motto: "Don't collect them all!" to reduce the possibility of an outcry against such crass and cruelty. My first sketch, almost completed, would have a quaint peaceful scene on the front, maybe of a quiet place which has recently become empty and void of happiness, and the words: "You are not alone". When the card is opened the devil and his minions are seen to be rejoicing as they welcome the dearly departed to a celebration of truly satanic proportions. A small slit in the card would allow the sender to place a picture of the deceased close to Lucifer. There would also be the option of purchasing these cards with a soundtrack. My choice would be "Hell", by the Squirrel Nut Zippers, but I am always open to suggestions, especially if they are suggestive and rude. I patiently await!

[This post is certified to be devoid of emoticons]

3 comments:

Emily said...

Why am I laughing at this? I'd love to see your business plan.

Wait, can Lucifer even be photographed?

Emily said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suzy said...

I thought this smacked of Jim. Love it - and "Hell" would a great choice.
a painting by the artist The Reverend McKendree Robbins Long: (Picture Painter of the Apocalypse) would be perfect to grace the inside.