Der Stubentiger

In German the word "die Stube" refers to the parlor of a house and "der Tiger" is the king of beasts, the tiger, so "der Stubentiger" is a colorful nickname for a domesticated cat, a "parlor tiger". Make no mistake, though, this "tame" cat is only one step away from being feral and can easily adapt to a life on the hunt, filled with the terrified sounds of small mammals and birds, perhaps a reptile, maybe even an amphibian, as this "most perfect of all animals" walks through its kingdom. Most scientists agree that, had the cat been equipped with opposable thumbs, the species would surely have ruled the world. Cats are clearly more intelligent than human beings, really belonging to a higher order altogether, and undoubtedly man made a very narrow genetic escape from being enslaved, forced to do the bidding of Cattus cattus. This is the true reason why many are against genetic engineering, being fearful that cats will one day rule the world. In fact, although lions and leopards are mentioned in the Bible, the cat is nowhere to be found in the Holy Writ. Silence only or a conspiracy of silence?

"If I won a major lottery!"

This is the first in a new series, entitled: "If I won a major lottery!" My first purchase would be a stereo microscope ($200-$1,500), pictured on the left. With this piece of equipment I could observe worlds significantly smaller than ours. The life represented under its lenses would be familiar: very small insects, pieces of pollen, individuals strands of hair or fur, and other objects difficult to see with the naked eye. The magnification would not be high enough to witness the birth of new viruses or the replication of DNA, and I doubt if many major scientific breakthroughs should be expected, but I would stay up very late into the night to clearly see an ant leading an aphid to the milking barn, or the silken fibers of a spider forming a web, provided that the animals in question were kind enough to cooperate! I must admit that there exists a major problem with the source of funding for this purchase: the lottery. I don't "play" this ridiculous "game", nor do I plan to do so in the future. Other monies will have to be sought.

Note 1: The use of quotation marks ("") around certain words does not imply condemnation of the affected nouns (ed.)
Note 2: On the other hand, the use of these punctuation marks must signify some reaction that the author does not want to clarify with actual text